Monday, March 2, 2015
13 Detective Book Series You Obsessed Over As A Kid
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
Sorry, Sherlock. You’ve been replaced.
How well did your inner sleuth solve the cases in these books?
Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com
Yearling / amazon.com
Yearling / amazon.com
If The "Famous Five" Books Were About Modern British Teenagers
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
Forty-nine tragic new additions to the beloved children’s series. Sorry, Enid Blyton.
Hodder
1. Five laugh at Dick after he drops his brand new Samsung Galaxy down the toilet.
2. Five think about going to the countryside, then cancel when they remember there's limited 3G.
3. Five egg the local pensioners' home.
4. Five spend the entire afternoon sharing cat memes on WhatsApp.
5. Five find their teacher's Facebook profile, print out pictures of them on holiday, and tape them up around the school.
6. Five watch fail compilations on YouTube for six straight hours.
7. Five get into a fix (with their parents, after one of them downloads every Game of Thrones episode and goes £76 over the monthly broadband usage allowance in a single day).
8. Five draw penises on the dirty windows of parked cars.
9. Five steal a shopping trolley from Sainsbury's and ride it down a hill.
10. Five get very badly injured.
11. Five repeatedly set off the school fire alarm.
12. Five get suspended for downloading porn on to a friend's school computer and setting it as the desktop background.
13. Five play Minecraft for three full days.
14. Five find a dead pigeon outside Lidl and poke it with a stick.
15. Five spend 16 hours queuing for the new iPhone.
16. Five desperately compete to be the first to 1,000 Instagram followers.
17. Five go for lunch at Pizza Express, then spend 80% of the meal on Facebook.
18. Five set off fireworks in a public toilet.
19. Five yell abuse at a homeless man.
20. Five run away together, get as far as Swindon, and then immediately decide to come home.
21. Five get horrendously plastered on Lambrini.
22. Five try putting random objects in the microwave.
23. Five set fire to an abandoned car.
24. Five get into trouble (with the law, after firing an air rifle at a cat).
25. Five raid their parents' alcohol cabinet.
26. Five get drunk on Halloween and throw toilet paper at an old man.
27. Five send inappropriate Snapchats to each other.
28. Five attempt to revise for their GCSEs together.
29. Five get distracted by GTA 5.
30. Five drink 12 cans of Red Bull the night before an exam while desperately trying to learn everything on the syllabus, all in the faint hope of scraping a C grade.
31. Five burn down a tent at Reading Festival.
32. Five get part-time summer jobs at WHSmith.
33. Five become addicted to Tumblr.
34. Five spend a whole day arguing about the colour of someone's dress.
35. Five go down to the sea, go skinny-dipping, and get shouted at by the coastguard.
36. Five spend their sixth-form study sessions playing poker for money.
37. Five eventually pass their driving tests.
38. Five crash a Ford Fiesta into a ditch.
39. Five experience the horrible, dawning realisation that they've nearly finished school and have no idea what they're going to do with their lives.
40. Five worry about tuition fees.
41. Five get stuck on their UCAS applications.
42. Five struggle to choose between media studies at the University of Bournemouth and sports science at Loughborough.
43. Five deeply regret not dropping physics after AS-level.
44. Five miss out on their predicted grades, spend results day crying in a corner of the school's gymnasium, then celebrate when they just manage to scrape into uni through clearing.
45. Five get drunk every night of the week during Freshers'.
46. Five discover Ring of Fire.
47. Five have to be taken to hospital after drinking 16 consecutive Jägerbombs and falling down a flight of steps outside the union.
48. Five experiment with various illegal substances.
49. Five are together again (a year after they finish sixth form, at which point they realise they no longer have anything in common and that they're steadily, irrevocably drifting apart, and that childhood friendship is ultimately just a shiny doomed veneer that shatters into a million hopeless pieces at the start of adulthood).
25 Classic Books Renamed By People Who Hated Them
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
Here’s what some classic books would be renamed if unhappy Amazon reviewers got their way.
The Great Gatsby
Charles Scribner’s Sons / BuzzFeed
The Catcher In The Rye
Little, Brown & Company / BuzzFeed
A Farewell To Arms
Scribner's / BuzzFeed
On The Road
Viking Press / BuzzFeed
The Definitive Listing Of Terry Pratchett's Discworld Novels
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
“Mort” or “Reaper Man”? “Pyramids” or “Small Gods”? WHICH IS THE BEST?
Not ranked: Raising Steam (2013), Snuff (2011), Unseen Academicals (2009), Making Money (2007)
I don't want to talk much about the books published after 2007, the year of Sir Terry's diagnosis with a form of Alzheimer's. They shouldn't be characterised as part of the Discworld canon: In the case of Raising Steam and Snuff, they are almost unrecognisable as Pratchett books. The dialogue is baggy and expository – especially in Raising Steam – and the characters have the right names but behave nothing like the people we know from the earlier books. The earlier two are more Pratchett-like, but still, it seems a shame to start a celebration of the Discworld by focusing on them. I'm really sorry, Sir Terry. I feel awful writing this.
Snuff cover art. Harper
Monstrous Regiment (2003)
Pratchett does good feminism. His female characters are flawed, interesting, varied, fully realised human beings: look at Nanny Ogg and especially Granny Weatherwax for proof. His books are shot through with wry anger at men forcing women into preassigned roles. But normally he weaves it in: The plot device in this book (set in an obscure country torn by religious war) makes it explicit, and therefore clunky.
Victor Gollancz
Carpe Jugulum (1998)
The most damning thing I can say about this book, in which the Witches head to Discworld Transylvania, is that it has entirely failed to stick in my memory. It has good lines (Vetinari describing the up-and-coming nations of the Hub as the "werewolf economies") and some good satire of Hammer Horror vampire films and the like, but it is not one of the greats.
Doubleday
Thud! (2005)
Some of Pratchett's political beliefs shine through in his books, of course. But in this one, in which Vimes is trying to prevent a resurgence of ancient violence between dwarfs and trolls, he's a bit heavy-handed with it. There's a "War! What is it good for?" message and a we're-all-the-same-under-the-skin message which is so front-and-centre that it gets in the way of the plot. Also, this is another later-period Vimes novel, with all the Vimes-worship that entails. The early Vimes, who hated the privilege of the rich, would have been infuriated by the Thud! Vimes shutting down several city streets just so he could get home in time to read his infant son a bedtime story. But Pratchett holds this up as something to be applauded, which feels weird.
Corgi
12 Reasons We Should All Be A Little More Like Luna Lovegood
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
Don’t worry, you’re just as sane as she is.
She can turn up with most most IDGAF attitude ever.
Get it girl!
Warner Bros. / Via media.giphy.com
She rocks her own unique styles.
Warner Bros. / Via images5.fanpop.com
FLAWLESS.
Warner Bros. / Via tumblr.com
She undoubtedly has the most school spirit.
Warner Bros. / Via wordpress.com
22 Secrets That Booksellers Will Never Tell You
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
There’s not as much order to “Phoenix” as J.K Rowling would have you believe.
Your heart breaks every time someone messes up your perfect pyramid.
Even when you're not at work, you'll find yourself tidying books into pyramids.
When you say a book's not in stock, what you actually mean is Phoenix is telling you there's one, but you know you'll never find it.
There's a place in space someone filled with single socks and niche Penguin classics that are nowhere to be seen.
You feel like Phoenix, and other such book inventory systems, may have been put on this earth to troll you.
Giphy / Via giphy.com
How Many Critically Acclaimed American Novels Have You Read?
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.” So, how in shape are you?
This list derives from two others: David Handlin's and Sandra Gilbert's, both published in The American Scholar.
Someone Wrote Gay Erotic Fan Fiction About The Dress
Posted by Unknown on Monday, March 02, 2015
“4,400 words of sizzling human on gay dress action.”
This is author Chuck Tingle, an erotic fiction writer who sells books on Amazon. Most of Tingle's, er, unique, stories feature gay humans, dinosaurs and unicorns.
This is Tingle's Amazon display picture, but it is probably not a real picture of him as it is a stock photo.
Via amazon.com
Yes, that title is referring to precisely The Dress you're thinking of. The one that has divided the globe into team #blueandblack and team #whiteandgold.
#TheDress
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
21 Times R.L. Stine Was So Sassy It Hurt