Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The Black Lesbian Writers Who Made Me Who I Am

Out in the world, I’m primarily known as a publisher of black lesbian and gay literature. Lisa C. Moore, RedBone Press: The two go hand in hand. I’m pleased, and humbled, that I’ve edited works that resonate on so many levels. After shaking my hand or giving me a hug, many black lesbians will tell me their own coming-out story — and oftentimes, they’ve been inspired by RedBone Press’ first book, does your mama know? An Anthology of Black Lesbian Coming Out Stories.

As an editor and publisher, I stay cognizant of the inherent power of publishing. Publishing, after all, means getting your work out there. It’s not just printing a book; rather, it’s getting it into the marketplace of ideas. I wouldn’t do what I do — be who I am — without having read certain books. Like the women who are compelled to thank me for my service, I, too, am forever thankful for the help that books have given me. Call this a genealogy of sorts — my personal book history. It’s the history that shaped me.

Kitchen Table Women Of Color Press

I first encountered the work of Barbara Smith in the early 1980s after reading Home Girls: A Black Feminist Anthology, which she edited. (Home Girls was originally published by Kitchen Table Women of Color Press, and has since been reissued by Rutgers University Press). When I read Home Girls, I was in college in the early ’80s, just learning that there were other lesbians — but I only saw white ones at Louisiana State University. I rode the second wave of feminism and didn’t know it. The wave wasn’t very colorful where I was: I rarely saw images of black women. It didn’t help that I’d always gone to white schools and most of my friends were white. I was a baby feminist, and an even babier lesbian.

Then, at the library, I found these words by Barbara Smith: “[With] Home Girls ... I knew I was onto something, particularly when I considered that so many Black people who are threatened by feminism have argued that by being a Black feminist (particularly if you are also a Lesbian) you have left the race, are no longer a part of the Black community, in short no longer have a home.”

Was that why I couldn’t find the colorful wave? Were the women in this book part of my tribe? Those words resonated (still do), and I wanted more.

I soon learned that Barbara was a co-founder of Kitchen Table Women of Color Press, which published not only Home Girls, but was the second publisher of the seminal anthology This Bridge Called My Back, edited by Cherríe Moraga and Gloria Anzaldúa. And then I learned that she was a co-founder of the Combahee River Collective in 1974. (Go look it up. Black feminism basics!) Barbara and her twin sister, Beverly Smith, grew up in Cleveland; Barbara went to Mount Holyoke and The New School and became a writer and an activist, later writing essays compiled in The Truth That Never Hurts: Writings on Race, Gender and Freedom. Her newest book, the winner of the 2015 Lambda Literary Award for Best Lesbian Memoir/Biography, is Ain’t Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me Around: Forty Years of Movement Building with Barbara Smith, co-edited by Alethia Jones and Virginia Eubanks. In the mid-1990s I interviewed Barbara Smith while researching feminist presses, trying to figure out how to publish my own first book, and discovered she was smart, witty, and a book nerd — like me.

Alice Dunbar Nelson

The Poetry Foundation

As part of my reading through another important black feminist book, All the Women Are White, All the Blacks Are Men, But Some of Us Are Brave (co-edited by Gloria T. Hull, Patricia Bell Scott, and Barbara Smith), I discovered Alice Dunbar Nelson. Born in 1875 in New Orleans, Alice Ruth Moore (later Dunbar and Nelson, after her two husbands) was another smart, witty writer. (Wait! I thought. I’m from New Orleans! My last name is Moore! Could we be...?)

I wrote a paper for one of my classes about Alice; she wrote and published poetry early on (poetry with “homoerotic tendencies,” as they say), and was a syndicated journalist during the Harlem Renaissance, often writing for the Pittsburgh Courier, the black newspaper of record. But after reading Gloria Hull’s Give Us Each Day: The Diary of Alice Dunbar Nelson, I realized that, yeah, she was married to men — and so were a lot of other women who loved women back in the day. In her diaries, Alice recorded her affairs with women (one of whom, Edwina Kruse, was a principal at the school where she taught).

Hmmm. Maybe there were more women-loving black women than I saw in books in the early ’80s.

“You! Inez!”
Orange gleams athwart a crimson soul
Lambent flames; purple passion lurks
In your dusk eyes.
Red mouth; flower soft,
Your soul leaps up—and flashes
Star-like, white, flame-hot.
Curving arms, encircling a world of love,
You! Stirring the depths of passionate desire!
—Alice Moore Dunbar-Nelson, 1921

Just a few years ago, I learned of a couple of other early black lesbian writers of that time period: Angelina Weld Grimké and Mary P. “Mamie” Burrill. I put them in the category of “black lesbians who wrote but were never published as black lesbians.” Angelina (born in 1880 in Boston) was a poet, teacher, and playwright, and came from a family of well-known white abolitionists. (Angelina Grimké Weld and Sarah Grimké were her aunts.) Angelina was the first black woman to have a play put on in a public theater (Rachel, produced in 1916, about lynching), and she was in love with Mamie Burrill when they were teenagers. At 16, she wrote this to Mamie:

“I know you are too young now to become my wife, but I hope, darling, that in a few years you will come to me and be my love, my wife! How my brain whirls how my pulse leaps with joy and madness when I think of these two words, 'my wife.'”

Angelina’s heartthrob, Mary P. "Mamie" Burrill, born in 1881, was also a teacher and a playwright. Two of her best-known plays were They That Sit in Darkness (about reproductive rights) and Aftermath (about lynching, both in 1919). Mamie and notable Howard University educator (and co-founder of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority) Lucy Diggs Slowe lived together in Washington, D.C., for 15 years.

Shortly after reading Home Girls, I set out to get my hands on any book that was black and gay. One of the first I bought was Zami: A New Spelling of My Name, by Audre Lorde (1982). Her “biomythography” (now it would be called creative nonfiction or memoir) let me be immersed in a black lesbian life that was not my own. It must have created a splash, as it was reviewed in the New York Times (a black lesbian writer critiqued in the New York Times?!): “To read [Zami] is to feel, at least for a few hours, that one has lived, not merely intellectualized, Audre Lorde’s life. ... Her works will be important to those truly interested in growing up sensitive, intelligent and aware in the second half of the twentieth century in America.”

Persephone Press

Being the research fiend that I am, I began searching for Audre’s other books, and found lots of poetry, some from the 1960s and ’70s that had even lined my mother’s shelves (talk about a home girl!); and essays. Audre Lorde was a powerful writer, speaker, and activist; she and Barbara Smith were cut from similar cloth, as co-founders (with Cherrié Moraga) of Kitchen Table Women of Color Press. Those three women inspired me to be all of my burgeoning selves: black, lesbian, smart, book nerd.

After Zami, I found other black lesbian books that white lesbian feminist presses had begun to publish in the ’80s: For Nights Like This One (1983), and later, Lover’s Choice, both by Becky Birtha (1987); Dyke Hands & Sutras Erotic & Lyric, by SDiane Bogus (self-published in 1988); Narratives: poems in the tradition of black women (1982) — and later, Living as a Lesbian (1986) and Humid Pitch (1989), all by Cheryl Clarke; Claiming an Identity They Taught Me to Despise, by Michelle Cliff (1980); Black Lesbian in White America, essays by Anita Cornwell (1983); Womanslaughter (1978), Movement in Black (1978) and Jonestown & other madness (1985), by poet Pat Parker; Loving Her (1974), The Black and White of It (1980) and Say Jesus and Come to Me (1982), by Ann Allen Shockley (who does not now identify as lesbian); and Black Lesbians: An Annotated Bibliography, compiled by a white lesbian, J.R. Roberts, pseudonym of Barbara Rae Henry (1981).

Looking back now, I would say I came out in the 1980s in a sort of heyday of black lesbian writing. These books helped me know that I wasn't alone in my own head — there were others like me out there. I heard about magazines such as Azalea and Aché, and later, in the ’90s, saw actual copies. I attended black lesbian support groups in different cities when I traveled, seeing others black lesbians in the flesh. Little did I know there was going to be an explosion of gay and lesbian books in the 1990s, when more celebrities came out, it became more acceptable to talk about gay issues, and mainstream publishers — seeing dollar signs — printed more gay books.

That’s not to say that black lesbian writers saw their work published in equal numbers in the ’90s, but still, I remember reading more work by black lesbians from feminist presses. Her, a novel by Cherry Muhanji (Aunt Lute Books, 1990). And the vampire novel The Gilda Stories (1991) by Jewelle Gomez, and later, her essays in Forty-three Septembers (1993), Oral Tradition: Selected Poems Old & New (1995), and her short fiction in Don’t Explain (1998), all published by Firebrand Books. Firebrand also published Kate Rushin’s poetry, The Black Back-ups (1993). (Rushin’s “The Bridge Poem” was the opening piece in This Bridge Called My Back, referenced above: “I do more translating than the U.N.”) I remember loving Penny Mickelbury’s mysteries, Keeping Secrets (1994) and Night Songs (1995), published by Naiad Press. It seemed I could look for a book from a black lesbian writer once or twice a year.

"These books helped me know that I wasn’t alone in my own head — there were others like me out there."

And then...a mainstream press, Anchor Books (Doubleday), printed Afrekete: An Anthology of Black Lesbian Writing, edited by Catherine McKinley and L. Joyce DeLaney in 1995. It made quite a splash in my little world — a book of writing by out black lesbians? In hardcover? In that collection were more names of writers whose work I could look to as a reflection of my black lesbian self. Writers such as Helen Elaine Lee, Jacqueline Woodson, Alexis De Veaux, Carolivia Herron, Linda Villarosa, and Evelyn C. White.

It was about that time that I started working on my own book, does your mama know?: An Anthology of Black Lesbian Coming Out Stories. I was driven to do so after talking with a classmate of my sister; she’d come to my house looking for black lesbian coming-out stories — thus coming out to me. I searched through my bookshelves, sure that there was such a book already; I remember reading a few coming-out stories in various places. I found that, somehow, there wasn't. I set about collecting the anthology in 1995; I interviewed feminist presses, researched the publishing industry, learned how to solicit stories, edit and lay out and design and promote. I connected with Terri Jewell, author of the self-published poetry collection Succulent Heretic, who encouraged me to keep going, that the world needed does your mama know?. I stumbled over Conditions: Five, co-edited by Lorraine Bethel and Barbara Smith back in 1979, and realized I will always be learning. By 1997 I’d printed does your mama know?, and the next year fell in love with publishing.

My history ends with my own present, as I still consider does your mama know? as part of my present. I published a second edition with 17 new stories in 2009. I’ve co-edited (with G. Winston James) Spirited: Affirming the Soul and Black Gay/Lesbian Identity, essays by black gay men and lesbians on religion and spirituality. I’ve published 19 other books, notably the performance novels the bull-jean stories and love conjure/blues by Sharon Bridgforth; Where the Apple Falls and Gospel, poetry by Samiya Bashir; Erzulie’s Skirt, a novel by Ana-Maurine Lara; and most recently the 2015 Lambda Literary Award-winner for Best Lesbian Fiction (yes, I’m proud!), Yabo by Alexis De Veaux. Just released (as in, new new) is For Sizakele, a novel by Yvonne Fly Onakeme Etaghene.

But this is only the start of black lesbian writer history. What’s the rest of it? Can you create a literary genealogy? Do you know who came before you, who helped create your identity, which books let you know you’re alive and well and here?

I challenge you.



12 Series To Catch Up On Before The Next Book Comes Out

Goodreads shares the most anticipated titles in thriller, fantasy, YA, and romance.

Mulholland Books

Mulholland Books


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23 Signs You're The Hermione Granger Of Your Friend Group

Ten points for Gryffindor!

When it comes to making group decisions, you're usually the brains behind it all.

When it comes to making group decisions, you're usually the brains behind it all.

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You're considered the bookworm of your friend group.

You're considered the bookworm of your friend group.

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Your friends have learned to accept that your true bestie is actually your cat.

Your friends have learned to accept that your true bestie is actually your cat.

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

You're a shameless overachiever, always outshining your buddies.

You're a shameless overachiever, always outshining your buddies.

Warner Bros.


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Mail would be delivered via bald eagle.

1. Your Hogwarts letter would be typed in Times New Roman.
2. And it would arrive with an American Flag stamp.
3. The Hogwarts Express would be a bunch of yellow school buses.
4. King's Cross Station would be filled with men dressed like Jack Sparrow and students would pay to take their picture with them.
5. And instead of trunks, students would carry duffel bags and backpacks.
6. Once you get on the school buses there would be manspreaders taking up most of the seats.
7. Mail would be delivered by bald eagles.
8. Butterbeer would actually be PBR.

Warner Bros. Studios / Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed

9. And students would have to acquire fake IDs to drink it, because they aren't 21.
10. The Great Hall would serve only Michelle Obama-approved meals.
11. The Dementors wouldn't be able to affect anyone from the Northeast.
12. Most Quidditch matches would end with someone getting into a fistfight over the outcome.
13. Dean Thomas would still be the token black student at the prep school. ?
14. Rita Skeeter would write for Star Magazine.
15. The Weasley's flying car would be a Chrysler minivan.
16. Students would get in trouble for playing beer pong in the common rooms.
17. The Sorting Hat would actually just be a cowboy hat.

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Poll: Who Is The Best "Harry Potter" Character?

Let’s settle this once and for all.

Harry Potter may be the Chosen One, but is he the best character in the series?

Harry Potter may be the Chosen One, but is he the best character in the series?

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What about Hermione, arguably the cleverest (and most badass) witch at Hogwarts?

What about Hermione, arguably the cleverest (and most badass) witch at Hogwarts?

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Or Ron, whose loyalty and sense of humor shines through every situation.

Or Ron, whose loyalty and sense of humor shines through every situation.

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Perhaps you most admire one of the many secondary characters who are deeply underrated.

Perhaps you most admire one of the many secondary characters who are deeply underrated.

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How Many Of These Fantasy Books Have You Read?

Let’s see how well-read you are when it comes to the mystical realms.

Books collected from several sources, including this and this.

Jensen Farley Pictures

Thumbnail image courtesy of Sharon & Nikki McCutcheon CC

Via Flickr: payitforwardphotos

What Wizarding Job Should You Have Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

Find out what job you were destined to have!

Airbnb Reviews For Famous Homes In Literature

1 star for 4 Privet Drive.

Maritsa Patrinos / Flickr: anupshah / Creative Commons

Cabin on Walden Pond

One word: transcendental. A perfect place to bathe in solitude. One morning, I looked out over the pond and saw the sun reflecting off the water and I understood that the water, the light, the earth, me, we're all on a continuum—there is no end to it and no end to me. I realized I do not need the many contrivances I tinker with; I do not need my ex-boyfriend, Allan. I only need my hands and my mind and the earth underneath my toes. And maybe some alcohol. And, I suppose, a Netflix subscription. And, of course, money.

4 Privet Drive

Accio my weekend back. The hosts put me in a cupboard under the stairs and asked me suspicious questions about owls. On my second day, I exited the cupboard and found the younger host waiting for me. He asked if I was "waiting for [my] letter." I was like, "What?" He asked me how old I was, and when I replied, "30," he said, "Never mind, you're too old." Rude.

Pemberley

On arriving at the grand estate, my heart did whisper that I had found somewhere incomparable—but, alas, my heart did also whisper that I missed Allan. He would have loved to walk through the gardens and dance in the great halls. What folly that we ended our relationship! He was ever slightly too daft and I, too judgmental. Oh well, la la la, the teas I had during my stay were splendid. It's fine.

Jordan College

Impossible to find! And not because I have a terrible sense of direction, ALLAN. I mean, how many Oxfords are there?! You better believe that when the dust settles, I'm getting my money back.

The Ramsay Summer Home

A delightful summer home with quaint rooms and gorgeous views. From my window, I gazed upon a lighthouse and thought to myself, Tomorrow, I shall go to the lighthouse. But then a terrible worry came over me, that the winds would be too strong, and that I should not venture out. And then I thought: how can I ever really know anyone?

221b Baker Street

Worst place ever, case closed. I never met the host, but judging by the cast of characters who knocked on the door, the omnipresent smell of smoke, and the skull sitting on the coffee table, I can only deduce that he is some sort of drug dealer. I also didn't see any recycling bins. :(

Thornfield Hall

Forget that this place is creepy and empty and haunted. Let's talk about the host. Helloooo, tall, dark and handsome! When I confronted him about the sexual tension between us, he told me he was "otherwise taken." And I said, "By whom? That old bag of bones in the attic? Yea, I figured it out." I'm waiting for him to return my calls…

Satis House

The clocks didn't work and I felt, all at once, a victim to time and age and not being married. If my next boyfriend — let's just call him Mr. Rochester — favors me, should I love him? If he wounds me, should I love him? If he tears my heart to pieces, should I love him still? And as my heart grows older and stronger, and that ensuing tear all the deeper, should I love him, love him, love him? Sigh. Idk.

Bag End

The accommodations were so cozy and comfortable, perfect for napping all day—but also, paradoxically, perfect for creating an insatiable thirst for adventure. The only thing I did not appreciate was the host's constant attempts to feed me. Eggs, potatoes, pickles, raspberry jam, cheese, chicken, cakes—all of it, he tried to shove down my throat while prattling on about second dinners. Ummm, what?! I finally had to sit him down and tell him that I've had trouble eating due to recent heartbreak and did not appreciate being pressured. He apologized and we hugged it out.

The Wall

Cons: Cold. Very, very cold. Like, winter is coming. Unpleasant conversations about wars and who everyone's mothers are. Felt like I might die at any moment. Zero vegetarian options.

Pros: Posing with a sword makes for some great Instagram pics. Lots of single men. LOTS. I believe I've found a new boyfriend. He's rugged, trained to follow orders, and knows all about commitment. So take that, Allan—and Mr. Rochester.

17 Foods That Taste Better With A Book

No smudges on the pages, please!

Scrambled eggs and toast make for quite a balanced literary breakfast.

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Eggs Benedict won't betray this read!

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A smoothie with a side of Gooch.

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Bonus points if your berries match your book!

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23 Life-Changing Things You Can Read Right Now

Guaranteed pick-me-ups, in under a half hour.

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23 Things All "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" Fans Will Find Funny

The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Waking up to this:

This cloud:

This truth:

This captcha:


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Are You More Hermione Granger Or Katniss Everdeen?

Are you a winsome witch or a terrific Tribute?

Warner Bros. Pictures / Lionsgate / Nina Mohan for BuzzFeed

19 Books To Read If You Loved "Paper Towns"

If you’ve already read everything by John Green.

Farrah Penn for BuzzFeed

Saving June by Hannah Harrington

Saving June by Hannah Harrington

Why you'll love it: After the devastating death of Harper's older sister, June, Harper and her BFF decide to secretly road trip to California to spread her ashes. But what she doesn't expect is to be accompanied by Jake Tolan, who has a connection to June that Harper wants to crack. If you enjoyed the adventure and the beautiful, lyrical quotes in Paper Towns, you'll surely enjoy Saving June.

Harlequin

Reunited by Hilary Weisman Graham

Reunited by Hilary Weisman Graham

Why you'll love it: On the brink of graduation, three friends decide to embark on a cross country road to see a reunion show of their once favorite band, despite having a fallout in their friendship freshman year. If you enjoyed the strong themes of friendship and quirky characters in Paper Towns, you're sure to devour Reunited.

Simon and Schuster

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

Why you'll love it: When Roza goes missing, the people of Bone Gap think she decided to leave on her own accord. But Finn knows that's not the case. He thinks she's been kidnapped — only no one believes him. This is a hauntingly beautiful book that, much like Paper Towns, will engross you with its intriguing plot.

Balzer + Bray


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Are These Quotes From "Fifty Shades Of Grey" Or "Twilight"?

Mr. Cullen will see you now.

The Struggle Of Being Both A Parent And A Writer

“I can’t decide: Was it a good trade?”

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

The books that I can't finish have been stripped of their dust jackets. They lie scattered around the house, the author's name a reproach along the spine. In the bedroom, Haruki Murakami's half-read 1Q84 is the bedrock of a tower of other books — all read, some more than once — that has grown tall in the past year. In the living room, The Kept, by James Scott, one of my former teachers, nestles among tooth-shredded board books and crumpled copies of Highlights magazine; its pages are by far the most pristine on the shelf.

It would be kindest to explain these books, and their cohorts, with a sheepish smile and a carnival barker's sweeping arm: Witness the coffee can of stubby crayons at the dining room table! Step lively — there are Cheerios underfoot! Of course I don't finish books; I have two children, ages 4 and 2.

The truth is less spectacle than private shame: I read a lot, almost as much as I did before I had kids. The first months of my baby's life coincided with another blessed arrival — that of my e-reader — and in his earliest weeks of 24-hour nursing and soothing, I finished 42 books. But I can no longer read books, or write stories, in which terrible things happen to children. As a reader, depictions of child suffering yank me violently from the safe world of narrative and into real, corporeal panic. As a writer, an unwelcome foreboding prevents me from letting my deepest fears pour out onto the page.

I am a better mother for this bargain, more capable of shaking off a parent's day-to-day anxieties without such ugly imagery residing in my head. I am also an incomplete reader and a constricted writer, these once-dominant parts of me now halved and quartered.

I can't decide: Was it a good trade?

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

A teacher told me that the key to writing fiction is not to look into your own heart, but to try to see into someone else's. I took it as my credo with no qualms. I had no trauma to reveal, no compelling secrets; where else would I find my subjects if not within others?

Yet even as I squeezed into the minds and bodies of the characters I invented, details from my own life crept in. I began writing fiction at the end of the tumultuous year after my boyfriend's stepfather's death, never realizing how much of the experience was still churning inside me until I turned it loose in my stories. The images snapped to life like a flame: the Orthodox Jewish funeral, where I policed the buffet table to prevent violations of kosher law; the collage of children's art on the kitchen wall, where fifth-grade masterpieces shed crumbling poster paint; the bereft cocker spaniel, who hurled his creaking frame against the bathroom door whenever I closed it behind me.

I knew that I couldn't tell these stories from my own point of view — I was weary, angry, and obsessive over trivialities. So I invented other protagonists and had them examine the situation with something like detachment, finding their own emotions from a different source. I pulled the threads of my own narrative and spooled them out until I could look at the whole experience with a distant, critical eye. My own struggles faded. I was empowered, having rewritten my own story until it was one I could embrace. I got married, to the same boyfriend, and started a graduate program in creative writing.

There, I grew bolder. I took on stories about my fears: secrets kept between husband and wife, jealous siblings who drove a wedge into marriages. I wrote about the shifts and tests of adulthood, efforts to buy a home, succeed at a job, have children. I remember my first story about pregnancy loss: In it, a woman attends a party with all of her friends, a few days after experiencing a miscarriage. Her friends all knew of the pregnancy, but she cannot bring herself to tell them of its end. I remember feeling proud as my character's growing anxiety poured out in paragraphs, leaving me clear-eyed and calm behind the keyboard.

I finished graduate school. I kept working on those stories, revising, polishing, in some cases starting all over again. I sent them out, got them back, and sent them out again.

Then I got pregnant, and a line was drawn, as dark and vivid as the streak of melanin crossing the arc of my belly: Part of the world was off-limits to me now.


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