Saturday, October 11, 2014

A Definitive Ranking Of The "Harry Potter" Books

If you think we’re a bunch of Squibs, you get to re-rank them!


Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets


Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets


Enchanting because... this was the most shit-yourself-terrifying book of them all. The basilisk? Aragog? All the Petrifying? At a school, nonetheless! And yet Harry, Ron, and Hermione were up to their patented hijinks.


Made us want to be Muggles when... a fucking DIARY was the villain all along? OK, so it was a Horcrux in the end but at the time, we were left scratching our heads.


Scholastic


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


Enchanting because... we got to meet Sirius Black, the most badass character in the series. Oh, and he's Harry's godfather? BEST PLOT TWIST EVER.


Made us want to be Muggles when... Aunt Marge showed up. Yeah, the Dursleys suck, no one is going to argue that. But Marge is like pretty much the worst Aunt in history. Seriously, she's worse than Voldemort. SMDH.


Scholastic


Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix


Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix


Enchanting because... Luna Lovegood. Need we say more?


Made us want to be Muggles when... Harry was cranky as fuck for literally the entire book. Seriously Harry, have a glass of Butterbeer or something, because you need to CHILL your ass out.


Scholastic


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone


Enchanting because... it's the first book, duh! The one that cast a spell over us all... forever! And you ALWAYS remember your first. ;)


Made us want to be Muggles when... it was so damn short. Seriously, "just" over 300 pages? Don't cheap out on us, J.K.!!! It left us wanting a LOT more. Luckily, we still had six books to go.


Scholastic




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