Because sadly, not all dashes are created equal.
Apostrophe
Apostrophes are just kinda basic. They don't lend much in the way of added emotion or emphasis — they serve their purpose and get on with their lives. Snorefest. Next.
Quotation Mark
What can I say about the quotation mark that hasn't already been said? Nothing, that's what. Much like Snoozehead McGee the apostrophe, quotation marks have a specific purpose — to introduce and end quoted material — and it's not one that's particularly exciting. The quotation mark gets one extra point for being cute and fun because it travels in pairs.
En dash
Aside from copy editors and grammar historians, literally no one in the world cares about what the en dash is and how it functions. I mean...have you ever even heard of an en dash until now? Do you even know how long it is?!?! Sadly, there are too many dashes vying for space in this grim, crazy world o' words, and the death of the en dash is something we simply must accept as imminent. (Sorry, lil' guy. Say hi to the dodo for us.)
Gets a few extra points because in the U.K. (and presumably other areas of the world), it's often used to function as an em dash, which is the coolest dash.
Colon
Colons are pretty OK. They build suspense, providing a teeny bit of excitement to help get you through those long days filled with otherwise ho-hum sentences. They also share a name with the thing that your poop passes through, so that's funny. Heh heh heh. Colon.
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A Definitive Ranking Of Punctuation Marks