Mail would be delivered via bald eagle.
1. Your Hogwarts letter would be typed in Times New Roman.
2. And it would arrive with an American Flag stamp.
3. The Hogwarts Express would be a bunch of yellow school buses.
4. King's Cross Station would be filled with men dressed like Jack Sparrow and students would pay to take their picture with them.
5. And instead of trunks, students would carry duffel bags and backpacks.
6. Once you get on the school buses there would be manspreaders taking up most of the seats.
7. Mail would be delivered by bald eagles.
8. Butterbeer would actually be PBR.
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9. And students would have to acquire fake IDs to drink it, because they aren't 21.
10. The Great Hall would serve only Michelle Obama-approved meals.
11. The Dementors wouldn't be able to affect anyone from the Northeast.
12. Most Quidditch matches would end with someone getting into a fistfight over the outcome.
13. Dean Thomas would still be the token black student at the prep school. ?
14. Rita Skeeter would write for Star Magazine.
15. The Weasley's flying car would be a Chrysler minivan.
16. Students would get in trouble for playing beer pong in the common rooms.
17. The Sorting Hat would actually just be a cowboy hat.
Warner Bros. Studios / Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed
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